Food, Glorious Food.

I'll put this question out there, do I disrespect the food I eat? that's not a very grammatically correct question but you get the point.

I am 21 years old and have a BMI of 18 (but I'll say 18.4 to put me in the 'normal' category). So as you might expect I naturally eat a little less than other people. I just went away with my friend and she couldn't get over it (and what I mean is she's been less vocal in the past).

So the thing is, I leave food on my plate. I admit it. But I don't think it's entirely my fault and blame. I mean, yes, it's wasteful. And I do like to take a little bit of everything. But I do believe that a normal portion size is grossly too much.

Now anyway on about the 5th day, she pulled the starving children in India card, when we said to throw out some pasta because we had already reheated it (the pasta didn't have meat in it so I think it was ok but still, I don't like to risk it). And my natural response to that is, eating the food we have will not help the starving children.

She told me that I was being disrespectful because I didn't eat the food I was given (that's how you know we're friends). But to me the idea of stuffing yourself so full that it makes you sick, is akin to this disrespect. Because I tried to eat more when she told me she didn't like it. I of course, vehemently verbally disagreed with her, but internally I set myself the challenge (do I have a holier-than-thou attitude or what?).

My friend told me, that I want to change the world whereas she is interested in changing herself. I think we need to do both.

I need less spirituality from people and more action. Goodness, I feel more and more like an atheist all the time. I have a hard time understanding an entirely emotional reason for doing something, "I feel this so..."

The thing is, I hate when it is all talk and no action (which is basically me a lot of the time). And sometimes it frustrates me that we live in the confines of a world where it is difficult to make these changes. I mean, I have the disheartened belief that it matters very little what I do in comparison to the major players in the world. But does that mean I will not do the things I believe are right? no. I feel guilty with myself that I do not do exponentially more, but, in life there is always a but. We really need to get over that.

And God. I'm judgmental and wasteful, good for me... yikes!